Blood, sweat and tears

 

Student and TANF volunteer faces challenges with single motherhood

Debrora Sears, right, talks with Doris Durgins-Johnson, TANF Student Advocate for STLCC-Meramec, in the TANF office in the Meramec student center. Sears turned to TANF seeking restoration after her husband left her suddenly in 2009. | RACHAEL FREEMAN

 

Rachael Freeman
-Staff Writer-

 

Ten diapers, a half-gallon of milk and no money to her name. That is all Debora Sears had when her former husband abandoned Sears and her youngest child. Sears an STLCC-Meramec student and a student worker for the Temporary Assistance to Needy Families program (TANF).

 

Sears has been rebuilding her life since her former husband left town with their eldest daughter in 2009. Sears, a single mother of two daughters, now left to raise one, embarks upon a journey of blood, sweat and tears.

 

“He sent me an email saying, ‘I have left you. Take care of your half’,” Sears said.

 

Sears hand gestures are not swift, but slow and fluid as she calmly recaps the dreadful day her ex-husband left her and their 2-year-old daughter.

 

“He had abandoned us in New York State. He basically took his income and everything…and decided to relocate with another woman. Left us in a foreclosed house,” Sears said.

 

She had no time to waste; she needed to find the necessary resources to survive.

 

“You kind of almost have to look above the chaos going on to navigate. Your focus is always on your kid. I had to start all over again. My resources such as my family, reside here in Missouri. I drove from New York to Missouri. That was March of 2009,”Sears said.

 

Sears packed what she could and relocated to Missouri. She was aided by local community services in New York.

 

“I arrived in St. Louis on March 14. It was a Saturday. My family was able to house me,” Sears said.

 

Sears drove nearly 954 miles from New York to Saint Louis with her 2-year-old daughter who is now 4 years old. Her eldest daughter who lives with the father is now 14 years old.

 

“It was March 16, 2009. I went to the Family Services Office, registered for food stamps and Medicaid for my daughter. I did not go on TANF yet,” Sears said.

 

It was in September 2009 Sears sought after a higher education at Meramec and financial assistance.

 

“When I first came to the office I had my cousin’s with me and Mrs. Durgins-Johnson sat down [and] provided not only information, but how to proceed in getting certain assistance in registering as a student and so forth,” Sears said.

 

Doris Durgins-Johnson, TANF Student Advocate, has five years of experience with the Division of Family Services (DFS).

 

“We work for the community college. We are a support service for students who receive, really any kind of government assistance,” Durgins-Johnson said.

 

“We work for any student who might have any difficulty with their ends meeting or difficulty with their finance. I guess you can kind of say we are like a social worker on campus,” Durgins-Johnson said.

 

Sears had to wait a semester before attending Meramec, but soon after “everything seemed to start to fall into place,” Sears said.

 

Durgins-Johnson came up with the idea of Sears working as a volunteer for the TANF office.

 

“I started as a volunteer, it was to fulfill the core hours specified by the state in order to receive TANF,” Sears said.

 

Her volunteer service also helped her become “relevant” to the working world again. Sears had been a homemaker for several years.

 

In the spring of 2010, Sears was eligible for employment with TANF and officially became a Meramec student.

 

“TANF assist all the students that come into this office with steps to success,” Sears said.

 

Sears took full advantage of what TANF had to offer. TANF has allowed her to share her story and the knowledge she has gained with other students. She is a single mother with many goals.

 

Now in the criminal justice program and no longer on TANF, she is expecting to graduate in 2012. While working part-time at TANF and being a full-time mom, she is still fighting to reunite with her eldest daughter.

 

“It takes a lot of concentration and focus. You have to keep your head up and not be overwhelmed by the situation,” Sears said.