It’ll be hard to look at ‘iCarly’ or Nickelodeon the same way ever again
BY: JACOB POLITTE
Managing Editor
Jennette McCurdy is one of the most recognizable faces on television, whether she wants to be or not.
“I’m Glad My Mom Died” is a bold title for a bold book. It’s a detailed, horrific look into a troubled childhood that blossomed into a successful, but even more horrific series of events. McCurdy’s tale is ultimately a tale of a young girl continuously forced into a spotlight that she never asked for, at the instistance and persistence of her mother, whose toxicity throughout the memoir is clear. Even if that toxicity wasn’t clear to McCurdy herself until she began to grow up.
The book is compulsively readable, with 92 short and easily digestible chapters that are divided into two halves: ‘before’ and ‘after.’ In the first half of the book, McCurdy details how as a young child, and even into her adulthood, all she ever thought was important was pleasing her mother. She details how her mother continuously bathed her and showed her the ins-and-outs of calorie restriction to help hamper her growth. This would eventually lead to her development of eating disorders that would plague her for some time to come.
She details the process of obtaining many of her earlier guest acting roles, but not necessarily how the performance went, because at the end of the day, her acting abilities really aren’t the story here. And of course, the book gets even more interesting when McCurdy books a starring role on ‘iCarly,’ a Nickelodeon show that went on to obtain legendary status.
She doesn’t even talk much about specific ‘iCarly’ storylines, other than detailing what would become a loathing of her fame following her 7 years portraying Sam Puckett. Two things from this portion of the book stand out: the beginnings and blossoming of her friendship with co-star Miranda Cosgrove, and genuine amazement at Cosgrove’s teenage independence (a luxury that McCurdy’s mom did not typically afford her daughter). Cosgrove proves to be one of McCurdy’s most loyal friends in the long term, even if they fall out of touch somewhat before the book’s conclusion. What also stands out from this portion of the book when McCurdy speaks about her time at Nickelodeon is her interactions and overall experience dealing with “The Creator.”
The Creator is widely believed to be Dan Schneider, the executive producer and creator of many Nickelodeon shows for nearly a quarter century. While many theories about Schneider persisted over the years, McCurdy’s memoir is the first to detail some of his misdeeds in such a public and unretractable light, which may have inspired others to do the same. In the weeks following the book’s release, other Nickelodeon actresses that have worked with him have begun to publicly share their own stories of what they feel was an unsafe, abusive work environment.
McCurdy herself states that Schneider pressured her into drinking alcohol while underage (saying “The ‘Victorious’ kids drink together all the time” and “The ‘iCarly’ kids need to get an edge”), and even massaged her shoulders without consent. She also details the beginning of his fall from grace at the network during his time on ‘Sam and Cat’ and how he was reprimanded and barred from being on the same soundstage as the actors and actresses but still allowed to run the show from a side room. This made things arguably worse, as it took longer to film an episode and kept McCurdy in a place she didn’t want to be in.
Eventually, ‘Sam and Cat’ was canceled, and McCurdy revealed that she was told it was because of a sexual harrassment claim against a producer. But McCurdy also reveals that the network offered her $300,000 to never speak about her experience at the network, and when she declined to take the money, she ended up being the one publicly blamed for the show’s end, with the media claiming that she was upset with co-star Arriana Grande being paid more than her (something she claims is untrue).
She also reveals that while she did harbor some resentment for Grande, the resentment came from more of a place of feeling like Grande received more opportunities and favor from the producers and not from a place of personal dislike (with the exception of a story regarding Grande bragging about playing charades with Tom Hanks).
Deborah McCurdy died in Sept. 2013, and the second half of the book focuses on how McCurdy spiraled, and confronted her issues to become a healthier and happier person. It’s at this point that her struggles to control her eating disorders intensify, and she begins to suffer from an identity crisis of sorts.
In this part of the book until its final pages, McCurdy bares all, and details her suddenly forced maturity and her struggles in graphic, unrelenting detail. It’s a brave, unflinching recollection of some very dark and unsure moments.
Many of her therapy sessions are recounted, some more helpful to her than others. Along the way, she begins to see her mother in a new light and over time, McCurdy comes to realize the role her mother played in her struggles while finally being able to make her own life choices free of guilt or shame.
In coming to terms with her past and working to fix her future, McCurdy finds her true identity as an individual, and finds a way to be happy on her own terms, and that is perhaps the ultimate triumph of “I’m Glad My Mom Died.’
More than any Hollywood memoir before it, it feels extremely authentic and incredibly important. It feels complete, as McCurdy reiterates her desires and intent to step away from the industry. It may be one of the most consequential books written in recent memory, and will stick with readers for a long time to come.
