Kavahn talks about America and everything it does to kick ass.
By: Kavahn Mansouri
-Editor in Chief-
What can you say about Barack Obama after this election? That he is the American version of the Spartan general Leonidus? That he rides a warhorse into battles with a mythical plate of armor? No, you cannot. But you can say that he is one kickass American individual who does not take any crap from anyone and wears American flag pants over American flag boxers with American flag socks that were made in America by Americans.
It is one thing to serve as president for one term; it is another thing completely to run for a second term and win with the prowess and cool head Obama ran with on Nov. 6. It was a day of glory for Barack and a day of defeat for Romney. And as Barack flew away from the gory bludgeoned battlefield that was Election Day in his Boeing AH-64 Apache helicopter he toted Big Bird as his co-pilot blaring “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen on the loud speakers.
Yes, another day saved by our president. He is the glorious Barack Obama, the man with the plan, the commander in chief, the kickass American. It is rumored he has an eagle with red, white and blue feathers clutching onto an American flag tattooed on his glorious Jean Claude Van-Damme like bicep along with the Constitution in full scrawled on his back.
If you voted for him or did not, it does not really matter because America has earned itself the second term of a real American hero. The type of guy who will punch a cobra straight in the face and wrestle with a bear over a salmon swimming up the stream. He flies over football games in a Blue Angel jet releasing several thousand 100 dollar bills all over the stadium. He is not the hero America deserves but the one America needs. That is right America, you picked right and that is why America kicks so much ass.
