Kavahn explores why America Kicks Ass
By: Kavahn Mansouri
-Editor in Chief-
Some countries focus on their economies; others focus on defending their borders. America, however, has always been a nation of expansion and innovation. So when the Earth ran out of land and there was nowhere else to head but up, the ol’ USA took to the skies. Space exploration is just another reason America kicks ass, more ass than any other nation in the world.
Space. People call it the final frontier, a limitless world in the sky waiting to be explored. For America, it is another frontier to conquer and declare ours, and that is exactly what we are doing up there. Mars? That is us. The moon? Forget about it. Call it upward expansion, call it what you will but it is time to fly up into space and make it ours.
This year it was landing a rover on Mars, in ten years it could be landing a McDonald’s on Neptune. The future is here and it is time America took full advantage. It is time to take leaps in the space race. I say we fund NASA and figure out a way to colonize the moon. If we can get a man up there, the sky is the limit to the other crazy things we could land up there. So here is our first goal, let us land a Wal-mart on the moon and get some people up on that space rock.
This November, let us elect a president that is not afraid to take America to the next level. Someone who is not afraid to fight a Martian to the death on a derelict spacecraft hurtling towards the sun. America needs a Bruce Willis in Armageddon-type president, someone who is not afraid to die on an asteroid to save the planet. And let us be honest, save America.
So whoever you plan on voting for this November, make sure it is a person who will strap on their American flag pants when they step onto the rocket ship of destiny that will fly their kick ass selves to the next galaxy and back. All while using fuels that burn red, white and blue.
