America Kicks Ass is the finest column around when it comes to appreciating the little things in life that are American, and also kick ass. The column covers a variety of American creations through a overflowing waterfall of patriotic sentiment.
Kavahn Mansouri
– Arts & Life Editor –
What is better than flying in a box through the sky? Flying in a jumbo box in the sky is.
Somewhere up high in the sky, hundreds of people are flying around in gigantic boxes dubbed “jumbo jets.” Originally created in no other than the great nation of The U.S. of A. by the corporation Boeing, jumbo jets are large airplanes furnished with the classiest of seats, beverages, and packaged nuts.
Ranking high in the Kick Ass American List, the jumbo jet is one badass contender.
They literally scream America as they soar through the sky, often with amazing sponsorships and sweet American flags painted on the sides of them. Rich folk sit in the front, sipping fine wines and eating gourmet meals. The greatest jumbo jet ever would include a full American flag paint job, flame decals, a spoiler and 100 American bald eagles that fly alongside the plane.
Jumbo jets are what America is all about: big, luxurious and soaring. Big because America is huge in patriotism, luxurious because America is all about the fancy, and soaring because America soars to victory in everything… including the Kick Ass List of Nations, where it places number one.
