Relationships can be one of the most meaningful and powerful elements in a person’s life. Though some may seem perfect, others may have hidden issues. A new column by Kelly Davis and Shane Rice, “That’s What She Said/That’s What He Said,” will help address these hidden and open dilemmas most of us face in our relationships. We will provide ways and advice on how to add communication, intimacy, and adventure. There are two sides too relationships; with that in mind Kelly and Shane will write from both female and male perspectives. In addition this column will allow readers to ask questions online and seek advice. Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make relationships flourish; allow this column to guide you and your partner.
By Kelly Davis
– Copy Editor –
Sex/Relationship Myths
Getting involved with someone is never easy. There are always issues to think about, risks to take, and rules that we tend to tiptoe around. Whether the relationship is a friendship, a romantic partnership or a sexual experience, there will always be questions and concerns. These long-held beliefs about the questions and concerns that plague our lives are generally known as myths.
So, what are a few of these myths? Are they truly as appalling or humorous as experts say? Can the myths be overlooked or tolerated? It is time to find out.
With any friendship and/or relationship, people tend to think that companionship should come naturally. This myth can be true to an extent. Sometimes there can be moments where it feels comforting to sit with a person in silence and other times it can be frustrating just trying to keep a conversation flowing. In times like this, it’s best to remember that all relationships take work and deliberation.
Getting romantically involved with someone does not mean that love will conquer all. However, it does not mean the love will fade either. Men and women cannot forget that there are other aspects to a relationship such as trust and friendship. Couples need to keep in mind that being loved and making love does not complete a relationship.
Supposedly, relationships are flawless when couples don’t argue. This is a big, fat lie. In any relationship, it is healthy to bicker at each other because it relieves stress and it generates communication. Of course, this may create anxiety and upset someone, but it’s important to do so because it gets the truth out on the table and the problems may get resolved, reaching an eventual peace.
In sexual relationships, myths can be a bit sticky. Some believe that sex is a natural part of life, without condoms and other birth control. However, there is always a chance that a woman could get pregnant. There is such a thing as premature ejaculation that can occur at anytime during arousal, thus pulling out before climax will not prevent pregnancy. In addition to this, women can get pregnant while they are on birth control because antibiotics, foods and even illnesses such as diarrhea can deactivate it. Some have also heard the rumor that pregnancy can occur through the art of swallowing, regardless of protection. This is entirely false. Semen cannot work its way to the ovaries through the mouth. It also does not cause weight gain either.
When it comes to sex, people tend to think that everyone is doing it and it brings instant adulthood. Well, truly, there is no way to tell if people are having sex or not. Sexual people do not have giant stickers on their foreheads stating, “I’m not a virgin.” Having sex because everyone else is doing it shows immaturity and is a sign that one is not ready. Sex should have an importance. It should not occur to produce adulthood. It has the ability to cause severe emotional trauma if used in the wrong way. Being an adult means being mature and making mature decisions. Therefore, it’s ideal to think responsibly in order to achieve adulthood.
Indeed, these myths will cause couples to question their actions. They can show up abruptly or they sneak their way into the relationship. They will always be there, even if we ignore them. Thus, it’s best to grab that rumor by the horns, take charge, and find the truth.
By Shane Rice
– News Editor –
The humorous and important myths about sex and relationships
Relationships and sex are both very difficult subjects to master. In fact, no one can possibly master all aspects of either; they are complicated, emotionally draining, and have the power to break the human spirit in half.
However, just like any subject, there are myths and harshly embellished stories claiming this can do that or that can do this. While some may be humorous others can be quite detrimental and obscure. Such myths about relationships or even sex have evolved from horrible and uncreative pick-up lines to even laughable rejections. Take for example the stigma about men only thinking about sex and they do so every seven seconds. As humorous as this may be, it is false. According to the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, it is impossible to calculate exactly how often sexual flashes enter a man’s brain. Although, it is estimated that 54 percent of men do think about sex every day or even several times a day.
Another false yet humorous myth is that all women are innately bisexual. As much as some men would love to believe this, it is unfortunately not true. In fact, only 6.2 percent of men and 4.4 percent of women are attracted to people of the same sex. In a report by the Kinsley Institute, five percent of men and only three percent of women consider themselves bisexual. What this means is that yes there are a lot of bisexual women just not a trait of the entire gender.
Although some myths may be humorous and false there are some that are quite real and meaningful. Myths about relationships usually hold some truth, like the myth that a great relationship requires a great romance. Every relationship should have romance but it should also be realistic. Romances are not like Hollywood fairytales. The realism is that being in love is not the same as falling in love. Falling in love is only the start and to remain in that part of the relationship is impossible. Relationships can and will shift through many cycles of emotions, sometimes allowing a deep infatuation to turn into a secure stable love.
While some myths on relationships sound like something out of a romance novel, others are a little more obvious. For example, a great relationship requires great problem solving skills; this myth is very real. Not every problem has a solution or can be resolved and a lot of relationships fail because of this. The fact is that 90 percent of problems in a relationship are not solvable, according to Dr. Phil McGraw. There will always be disagreements; men and women are just too different in the way they think and respond.
By far, one of the biggest myths of any relationship is the myth that relationships having nothing to do with sex. This belief is a dangerous and “intimacy-eroding” belief. Sex is an important break that people share to not only escape the daily pressures of life, but it’s an opportunity for couples to experience a quality of intimacy and emotion. Granted, sex is not everything and shouldn’t be but it is important nonetheless.
Even though there are thousands of myths about relationships and sex there are some hidden truths in most of them. The healthier the relationship, the happier the couple and the more understanding they are of one another, than the easier it is to get pass the issues without a solution. Love can’t conquer all but it can definitely fight back.
