Relationships can be one of the most meaningful and powerful elements in a person’s life. Though some may seem perfect, others may have hidden issues. A new column by Kelly Davis and Shane Rice, “That’s What She Said/That’s What He Said,” will help address these hidden and open dilemmas most of us face in our relationships. We will provide ways and advice on how to add communication, intimacy, and adventure. There are two sides too relationships; with that in mind Kelly and Shane will write from both female and male perspectives. In addition this column will allow readers to ask questions online and seek advice. Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make relationships flourish; allow this column to guide you and your partner.
That’s What She Said
by: Kelly Davis
Sexual fantasies are like wishes. Men and women have many of them and hope that one day, they will come true so they can finally experience the ‘magic.’
All men and women have sexual fantasies, whether they admit it or not. These thoughts and wishes occur because we, as humans, have desires. We long for that certain something that may potentially make our toes curl. We need that sensation of arousal.
We crave this sensation for it can overwhelm the body with emotion, feeling weak, stiff and relaxed at the same time. It is truly mind blowing. Men and women desire moments of this ‘magic,’ for it will only lead to more fantasies and more excitement in the bedroom.
Indeed, not everyone has the same fantasy. Some may desire a night full of passion and intimacy whereas others may want a kinky night of whipping with a leather belt while they are tied up to their bed with ropes and their partner stands astride in a leather jumpsuit. Any way works just as long as the job gets done and every partner is erotically satisfied.
Once men and women have been granted their wishes and they experience the ‘magic,’ they will only beg for more. We want and need to fulfill these desires. However, it is important to remember that not every fantasy should be explored. For instance, a man should not have sex with the married receptionist simply because he had a fantasy about her. It will only lead to drama, divorce and tragedy.
Nonetheless, the thought of keeping the fantasy a secret can actually be quite a turn-on because typically these wishes and desires may be a bit peculiar, such as a woman fantasizing about fondling another woman’s breasts, vulva and clitoris. Desires like this can also influence mystery, creating curiosity for men and women as they think about the unknown.
Fantasies can, in fact enhance the intimacy and passion in the bedroom, or wherever the sexual stimulation takes place. They allow lovers to communicate, explore and grow closer to one another. It also gives men and women the opportunity to try new things and discover new experiences, likes and dislikes, regardless if the wish is unusual or penetrating. Of course, lovers should discuss the fantasies before revealing the ‘magic’ because some men and women may not like exploring certain tactics such as toys, bondage and even spooning.
Men and women need to consider that fantasies can improve his/her well-being. They can experiment, discover, and decide what makes them moan and sigh. It gives them the advantage to try new things and discover a new world of pleasure. Moreover, making wishes come true will only leave them feeling more satisfied.
Now, it is time to think. Think about those wishes. Think about the body’s needs. Take control of those thoughts and enjoy them. Carry out those fantasies for it will give intimacy a new meaning. Explore the ‘magic’ alone or with others. It will be worth it. Fantasies are the best way to enhance imaginations and the body’s true wishes. Men and women deserve this chance to feel the sensational pleasure of ‘magic.’
That’s What He Said
By: Shane Rice
Sexual fantasies are part of the human emotion. Also called an erotic fantasy, they are thoughts with the effect of creating or enhancing sexual feelings. They provide mental imagery that can be either sexually arousing or erotic to any individual.
Fantasies are a normal, healthy part of sex for both men and women in which case many specialists claim a good rich fantasy can lead to better sex. They go hand in hand. When a couple can talk about and really get into their sexual fantasies with each other, it can strengthen their relationship unlike any other way.
However, many people are scared or nervous to discuss their latest sexual fantasy with their partner and for this reason; they have a more stilted sexual experience. It’s not healthy to keep sexual fantasies locked away in locker room of the imagination. It’s important and fun to act out fantasies with each other. It not only builds communication but enables a level of comfort that can further a couple’s relationship.
Sex is much better when each person is relaxed and comfortable.
Although a person’s fantasy can reflect their fetish, or vice-versa, they all stem from deep rooted ideas that may seem creative or obscure. But while some people strive to full-fill their fantasies others remain very content with just the idea or notion that it could be an achievable possibility.
Some of the more common fantasies are as simplistic as threesomes, same sex intimacy or masturbation in an open yet risky location. But on the other side of the spectrum lies the extremists; the ones that mix their reality and fantasy into a pool of lust and blind love.
Being a sexual person of nature, a sexual being created, most people have a fantasy realm of how their sex life and relationships should be. However, few people know that they can control the outcome of their sex lives.
Extreme fantasies are not far in difference from the simplistic. The foundation is still relatively the same, multiple partners, locations and in their case role playing. One of the biggest advantages of a fantasy is the ability to be someone else for a small moment or to be somewhere else even if still at home. There are no limitations to a fantasy; a person’s imagination is the limit.
