Relationships can be one of the most meaningful and powerful elements in a person’s life. Though some may seem perfect, others may have hidden issues. A new column by Kelly Davis and Shane Rice, “That’s What She Said/That’s What He Said,” will help address these hidden and open dilemmas most of us face in our relationships. We will provide ways and advice on how to add communication, intimacy, and adventure. There are two sides too relationships; with that in mind Kelly and Shane will write from both female and male perspectives. In addition this column will allow readers to ask questions online and seek advice. Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make relationships flourish; allow this column to guide you and your partner.
By Kelly Davis
– Copy Editor –
A man and a woman meet, sometimes igniting a flame of instantaneous attraction. They might flirt by exchanging subtle winks or compliments. Eventually, the man takes the woman on a date. Perhaps he goes traditional with dinner and a movie. They find themselves love-struck; therefore, they take the next step and become a couple. As the relationship progresses, the couple makes the decision to partake in “the big bang.”
Generally the big bang is incorrectly perceived as the moment when sexual intercourse takes place. Well, that is incorrect. In a sincere, amorous relationship, the real big bang is the moment when the couple says those three little words that have a substantial meaning, “I love you.”
It is known as the big bang in a relationship because it is the big, uneasy step. Plenty of couples have a difficult time with this concept because it brings up many questions. Am I truly ready? Is the timing right? What if I mess up? Will they say it back? So, before saying “I love you,” take the time to think it through and consider each other’s feelings.
When a man or woman feels ready to speak up, say it with confidence. It will show the significant other that it is meaningful in every way. In order to remain confident, don’t focus on the romantic gestures or the setting. It will cause too much strain and anxiety. Simply feel for the right moment, look deep into your partner’s eyes and let those feelings emerge.
Once those three magical words have been spoken, don’t place pressure on them. It’s completely normal for a man or woman to take a moment to absorb the emotion. So, if they do not respond immediately, it is simply because they are surprised or speechless. However, if they don’t respond at all or they say “thank you,” it is because they are not ready to say it and that is perfectly ok. They will say it in time.
When the time has come for the significant other to say “I love you, too,” it will be a moment of coming full circle. To some, it may feel like an explosion of happiness, hence creating the big bang. The big bang is an extraordinary feeling; enjoy every bit of it.
Always remember to say “I love you” only when it’s heart-felt and meaningful. Don’t overuse it because it will become an insincere expression. In other words, men and women will get tired of hearing it, get agitated, and they will no longer appreciate it. Therefore, say it with significance.
Now that the big bang has been mastered, men and women can look forward to making new, fond memories with each other and enjoy the bliss.
By Shane Rice
– News Editor –
Relationships are very delicate. They need knowledge, nurturing and understanding in order to grow and develop.
Knowing how a person thinks or feels is a form of communication that takes time. However, new relationships can sometimes be rushed and words get thrown out well before they should. ‘I love you’ are three words that can destroy any relationship. If used too soon, the feeling of co-dependency or low self-esteem could become visible. If used too late in a relationship, the fear of not being loved at all could be the outcome.
Saying the words ‘I love you’ marks a big milestone in any relationship and once it’s said there’s no taking it back. Through the history of men and women there has always been a fear of, “If those three little words are spoken will their partner feel the same?” For others the words flow out like a bad habit and they don’t necessarily believe there’s anything wrong with saying it.
‘I love you’ is a very personal experience, and every person has their own timetable of when saying it is appropriate. Some people say it right away with a new person, while others prefer to wait a while to be 150 percent certain that they truly love the person they are saying it to.
Whether it’s conscious or unconscious, saying ‘I love you’ might be a manipulation tactic. It can be used for power, to smooth over mistakes, or to simply keep someone around. Whatever the cause may be, the timing should be right and the words should be spoken sincerely.
Sometimes it’s better not to rock the boat or stir the pot. If ‘I love you’ is used towards a significant other while they are enjoying the pace of the existing relationship, it might be overwhelming. Others, like those in a casual relationship may find it too profound and distance themselves. The best way to say ‘I love you,’ is to let it grow and spontaneously jump out and it should create a lasting moment. It should fill that person with a passion storm.
If after thinking it through and a person is convinced that they know enough about the other person, mentally and emotionally, only then should those three words be spoken. Easing into the moment by letting the other person know how much they mean to the other and how they make life richer and worthwhile can help settle the nerves of the first time. Some people find it easier to write it in a letter, that way they can pour their hearts out without choking on the wrong words. However, it’s important to remember that eventually these words will need to be spoken a loud.
Love should never be taken as though it’s a game. Love is a life experience, one that those involved will remember for a lifetime. Live life and love those that make it worth being in.
