It’s been an exhausting year.
BY: JACOB POLITTE
Online Editor
Originally this piece was to be something completely different. I was going to write about the Presidential debates and why they need to be a thing of the past (they still do). But the truth is, I am so tired of talking about politics. As I write this, the Presidential election is days away but I couldn’t care less at this point. If Biden wins, we’re still wearing masks for a long time to come. If Trump wins, it’s the same thing, but probably worse. I don’t care anymore. It’s been an exhausting month, and an exhausting year for me in particular.
I’ve experienced so much loss this year, and as this issue illustrates with the memorial for former STLCC student and Montage Editor Andrew Ameer, I am not the only one. Family, friends and even pets have passed on and it’s been so overwhelming to deal with on top of the absolutely terrible year it already has been. But it also reinforces that time stops for no one, and that picking up the pieces and moving forward is absolutely essential.
Along with the loss of my uncle and my grandmother earlier this year, the most recent loss that I’ve suffered this year was my dog, Chico. It may not seem like a big deal to some who are reading this, but pets are an essential part of any family, and losing them is almost like losing a member of your family.
My family adopted Chico in late 2008, when I was 12; I am 24 now. He would have been with our family for 12 years just a few weeks after he died. He was the sweetest dog a family could have, and my family loved him so much. I have two other dogs to take care of too, but in a lot of ways, his death was like losing one of the last pieces of my childhood, and for the sake of full transparency, I don’t think I’m handling it very well.
I feel disoriented a lot. I’ve started suffering from anxiety. I feel guilty for not spending more time with my uncle, my grandmother and even my dog. Ironically, keeping myself busy with work has helped me a little bit to keep me from dwelling on all of this loss, but I’ve recognized that this route is not healthy. But it’s the only way I know how to cope; I spend more time working than anything else.
I hesitate to call it depression, mostly because I know there are a lot of people who probably feel a lot worse than I do, but it does fit some of the signs. I think eventually it will pass, and I have been communicating with others about what’s going on, but this past year has made it clear to me that changes are needed to effectively move forward.
I recognize now more than ever just how valuable my time is, and how to spend it best.
Working has helped me, but it shouldn’t be all work, all the time. Please, spend time with those who mean the most to you. Spend time with your friends, and make great memories with them. Spend time with your family, because even if you don’t always see eye-to-eye with them they love you no matter what. And even spend time with your pets, because pets are awesome. You never know if you’ll ever get another chance. It’s cliche, but it’s the truth. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.
Make every moment count. And remember that time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
